"Dirty Dishes"

Last week I was cleaning the kitchen. The kids were working on some of their bookwork. I had 5 pans of tomatoes roasting in the oven. The counter like always was full- of produce, dishes-clean and dirty, and junk.  I am sure someone, somewhere in the house was whining or fighting. It was raining, which meant all 4 dogs were still in the house. I was feeling a little overwhelmed. I had Pandora radio on and a song came on. Something about the words made me stop and listen. Here are the lyrics:

Mama hollers "Supper time,
And don't make me tell you twice
Wash your hands and wipe your face.
The table's no place for your toys,
And try to use your inside voice,
Don't dig in 'til we say Grace."
So we put down our forks and bowed our heads
And then she prayed the strangest prayer ever said:

 
"I wanna thank You Lord,
For noisy children and slammin' doors,
And clothes scattered all over the floor,
A husband workin' all the time,
Draggin' in dead tired at night,
A never ending messy kitchen
And dirty dishes."

We all got real still and quiet,
And daddy asked "Hon, are you alright?"
She said, "There ain't nothing wrong,
Noisy kids are happy kids,
And slamming doors just means we live,
In a warm and loving home,
Your long hours and those dishes in the sink,
Means a job and enough to eat.

So I'm gonna thank You Lord,
For noisy children and slammin' doors,
And clothes scattered all over the floor,
A husband workin' all the time,
Draggin' in dead tired at night,
A never ending messy kitchen

For my little busy bees
Beggin' mama, mama can we please?
Always wantin', needin', callin' me
Loads of laundry pilin' up
Crayons crushed into the rug
And those little sticky kisses
And dirty dishes,
And dirty dishes..."


It made me think. Motherhood is hard. I think we all know that. Maybe it's not motherhood as much as it's being a woman. We tend to let our selves get pulled in a million different directions at any given time. But how you deal with that is all about perspective. It's about seeing the silver lining to any given situation. And all the laundry, dishes and noisy children that make up my life....I wouldn't trade them for the world.

And if you want to hear the song, here it is.

Days Go By

I have been thinking about school a lot these days. I actually sat down to write a pro and con list of whether or not to send the boys to school next year. And the thing is....all of my pros are superficial. They are things that could be solved with a little bit of work on my part- getting us out there and around other people more instead of being a homebody all the time. And my con list contains real issues. The real issues that started us on this homeschool journey in the first place. 

Rylan making his first cheese cake

Usually when I hit this spot it is because I am burned out. And while I won't say that I am not- it was different this time. It was more of a wondering of would it benefit us all to take a different path.  But I can't ignore all of the reasons on my con list that tell me that sending them off to public school would be a bad idea. 

Annika. Pouting.

I know myself enough to know that part of my problem is that my confidence is shaken.  I tend to be a self doubter- but years ago I was pretty confident in my ability to educate my kids in a fun, engaging way.  I was full of ideas and could write out an entire unit in a couple nights and put it into action. Now I am not so certain.

Lakin and June

And back even further I was pretty confident in my skills as a mother. I was fun. I could care less about a mess born from creativity. Our systems and schedules all worked. Now I am not so certain.

Snake in the creek

So what is different now?

Picking buttercups

Somewhere along the way I've gotten blocked. Creativity seems less and farther in between. I allow the negative voices in my head override the positive. Anxiety and depression creep back in and wait in the background. And life in general gives roadblocks and detours. Sometimes paths are changed when you least expect it and you don't notice until you are already well on your way.

Cale making pizza for dinner

So now what? Where do I go from here?

Climbing on the table to get a closer look

I  go back to my nature. To plan. To write lists of what I want to change, what I want to do, what I want to teach. I attempt to give up the notion that I have to do everything, right now, by myself.  I ask for help.

From my front porch looking out

And realize that it is okay to use a curriculum written by someone else. And it is okay to alter that curriculum as I see fit. And it is okay to use one written by me.

Kids and Kids

It is okay that we haven't done any actual science work in months, because our lives are so full of "science". It's okay that I have given up on this year- as far as planning units- and anything I come up with in the next couple  months will be used next year.

Annika and Bella

I strive to see the joy and happiness in my life and not let my negative tendencies override them.  To let go of the worry over the future and the present and enjoy my children and my family.

Are you talking to me?

And to simply live. And love. And have fun. 

Fun

Fun. Life. Holidays.

 Miss Annika will be one in 12 days.  A couple of weeks ago she finally decided walking wasn't so bad. Still not her favorite mode of transportation, but she's getting there. 

We had a Christmas craft get together with friends. We made cookie mix in a jar. Which a couple kids cleverly gifted to each other so they could eat the cookies. We gave one to a friend and one to the mail carrier and one is earmarked for Santa. 

And painted gingerbread ornaments.  They smell really nice, Annika has to carry hers around and smell it at least a couple times a day.

 

And time capsule ornaments.

Annika's scrunchy face. This is a mellow, happy version. When she doesn't get her way she scrunches it up completely and pouts. Apparently she gets this from me. Leave it to Paul to point that out. He said she gets it from me and I turned and said she did not....accompanied by my own scrunched up face. Guess I proved his point....

Paul graduated yesterday. The first in his family.

 After the ceremony...

 Wearing Daddy's hat...

 

Can you tell who is turning into a Daddy's girl?

 

 We stopped for a Christmas tree on the way home.

We've gone to the same farm down the road from our house for the past 8 years. The boys already have asked about finding a tree farm in NC. 

Decorating at home

We have collected a ton of ornaments over the past 10 years. The tree is so full, but each one has a story and a memory attached to it and I can't leave any out. 

 

The boys have gotten into playing around with the webcam and all it's weird effects. It's like the house of mirrors distorting their faces. I like this effect though- 

Annika was napping during my attempt to get us all in one picture....

Now I just have to get every one happy, dress and smiling at my camera so I can get Christmas card pictures.

Untitled. Random Pictures and Words.

 These pictures are all from last week. I don't think I have had the camera out since Halloween on  Monday. But it's our life nonetheless.

My baby girl. Who is now 10 (!) months old. She took her first 2 steps about 2 months ago. Then decided that was all she wanted to do and would take one step and slowly lower herself down and crawl. Tonight she took 5 steps. She had a very loud audience cheering her on. 

 

We went to a birthday party last week at one of those big inflatable places. My boys love those places. Except for Lakin who was tired since it was an evening party. He threw fits instead. But it was fun for everyone else!

Penelope. Cuddled up on my dad's dog in NC last weekend. 

 And Annika playing on the stairs.

Spending time with my brother and his fiancee. Who are here visiting from Bogota, Colombia for a whole month.

A walk through the woods. I love this picture and the color of all the leaves. What's even better is that this is my  [new] back yard. Literally. 

Rylan, Cale and Cohen are helping to clear a trail all around the property. They LOVE this time with their grandparents and using their pruning shears as much as they want. 

Lakin usually stays with me, this time with his little pruning shears.

And now I should unplug my camera from the computer and put it to use. We've been homebodies the past few days. Paul is in Kansas City for 4 days at a conference that I am very proud of him for being chosen to attend. But I don't much like being here alone- with or without 5 kids. He gets home late tomorrow.

Strengths of Character

Awhile back my dad sent me the link to an article. "What if the Secret to Success if Failure" from the New York Times. It was an interesting read on the importance of character. In the article the author referenced another book- Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman, which I decided to have Paul check out from the University library just to see what it had to say.

Now when I say book- don't picture a educational or parenting guide on character building in your children. You'd be way off base. This is an 800 page psychology study. It's not exactly light reading. But I've been making my way through. Thoroughly reading some sections and skimming some of the other sections- searching for the information relevant to my situation and needs.

So far it's been very interesting. The authors have narrowed the list of strengths down to 24- universal across culture and time- and categorized them into 6 groups. They discuss their criteria for narrowing down these traits before diving into the details of each of the 24 strengths.

They range from curiosity and creativity to gratitude and hope. From leadership and fairness to bravery and persistence. These strengths cover cognitive, social and emotional virtues.

We (the human race) all have a lot to learn, a lot to improve upon. We all could use a lesson on being virtuous. We could all use a little character building. To rearrange priorities and relearn the value of wisdom and humanity. But all I can control is myself and my family.I can give my kids the best chance at becoming the strong people we all have the potential of becoming. And this is where I am starting; with a book, a list of character strengths and time.

School. Life. Balance.

I have been struggling lately. It's that pesky balance thing again. I have said before I am not an unschooler. We do have a "school time" and I prefer hands on, interactive activities. The thing is, that is not happening.

Life in general the past few years has thrown us off balance. Paul went back to school. He changed jobs a couple times, we added a baby. And now we are in the middle of a tight budgeted, stressful last semester, getting ready to move and all that comes along with that.


So where does school fit in? The short of it...they read, they do a page or two in their language arts books, they do a math lesson and we read a chapter in history. Sometimes I remember to do spelling. Sometimes we add in typing practice. It's boring. It's dull. And I miss science.


But then there is all that life we are living. The part where my boys feed and water our animals. They collect eggs. They chop wood and help build fences. They help each other fix breakfast and help me do the laundry. They watch their sister so I can make lunch or get the goats hay.


And all of that is so important too. There is just no room in my head right now for elaborate lesson plans, and maybe that is okay. They are young. They are exploring. They are learning. And later, maybe in the winter, when all these stressors start to fall away we will have more time. For art. For experiments. For fun learning together.

So for now I try and suppress my guilt. For not being the teacher *I* want to be. And let life happen.

Unplugged

This week I unplugged my kids. It's not that they watch all that much TV or play all that many video games, but I had noticed a change. For years we've had "movie time". It's always been about the 30 min before dinner- while I am cooking. But then the time gradually got a little longer. Thanks to Netflix the boys have a plethora of things to watch- and cycle through their favorites- X-men, He-man, Garfield, Inspector Gadget. (and I get to re-live all those shows I watched when I was a kid....) And with Annika waking up from her nap just before I make dinner, Paul getting home just after we usually eat, dinner time gradually got later and movie time stayed the same. So that 30 min turned into an hour or more. Then they got a Wii a year ago and that tech time has been added in. Again- they only get about 20 min each. But times 4 and the fact that they all watch each other- that's a lot of screen time.


We were beginning to have issues.
Issues with bickering and rudeness
Issues with boredom
Issues with whining about those movies and video games.


So I cut them off. Told them they were unplugged for a week. No movie, no Wii, no computer except for school.

There was some whining. Some complaining. Lots of "why!?!"

But you know what? They survived. And so did I .

Plus I could really tell a difference in all of them. Their attitudes improved. They argued less.

And They got busy.


Spent more time out back in the farm yard. Spoiled their chickens something awful. Taught them "tricks". They will be our tamest birds yet.

They got a lot of work done on their projects for the fair. Plus some extra ones too. They discovered making things out of duct tape. And all I can say is thank goodness Paul gets it at a discount from work.


So Sunday they are able to plug back in. But I think I will make some changes. And I will probably be periodically repeating this week. It did everyone a lot of good.